Beached Whale anyone?

Turning over in the middle of the night, or in the morning to hit the snooze button on the alarm is becoming increasingly difficult. I have a wonderful husband who knows how to speak pregnant wife, and all I have to say is "arm!" and he offers his arm like a pull up bar to help me maneuver. He even does it when he himself is half asleep! I knew there was a reason I decided to have his kid.:)

This weekend will be one of the most stressful of the school year, and at last checkup my blood pressure was high enough for them to say "hmm. It's high." but not enough for them to test for preeclampsia. This weekend is the first and largest tournament I have for both debate and theatre. I usually tell the kids that don't get the award they were gunning for who are disappointed sometimes to the point of tears, "Oh get over yourself! It's just a speech and debate tournament! There are wars going on all over the world and starving kids in Africa. If you did your best, then that's all that matters and in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter that much!" I have to practice what I preach and not get worked up about it either. I'm not the competitor, I'm just the coach. I usually make sure that I'm stressed enough to where my kids don't have to be, but at this point, I have enough kids that have been there and done this, so I should be able to rely on them to help out as well. My goal is to have my blood pressure be normal so that Johnny isn't coaxed or forced to come early. I think this is a pretty good goal, I just hope that my colleagues understand and support this goal as well.

I have a checkup today, so we'll see how the blood pressure is currently. I also want to make sure that his heart is beating healthy still. I bought a cheap stethoscope from Walgreen's for $10, but can't seem to hear his heart beat. I can hear mine, but I think it's just a little too basic to pick up his. With him being at the top 90% of growth, I want to be sure that his little heart is still able to work with his system; that his heart isn't overworked already. It's so weird to love this little wiggly monster in my abdomen. He seems so abstract still! It will be amazing to fall in love with him all over again as an actual being separate from me.

Until Then,
Big Momma

Johnny thinks his name is Jesus...

(As a plus sized preggo,

and maybe it's just the season....I feel like a citizen of whoville.

The guy in the middle, in the purple suit....yeah. The round one....)

We were out for a week for thanksgiving, and like other responsible teacher, I stacked as many appointments as possible. There was an orthodontist appointment to check on my progress, an ultrasound, and a routine check up with my OB/GYN. I'm seeing my Dr. every two weeks now, so it's getting close!

This was the first ultrasound my Hubby couldn't make, so I had my sister join me. She expressed interest in seeing an ultrasound early in the pregnancy, and I was super excited that she got the opportunity, but I was nervous my husband would miss something important. And OH did he! The first image that came on the screen was the top of the cranium, which is a typical measurement they take at every ultrasound. I joked about how it's a "big'n" because both Daddy and me have big heads, although mine is mostly ego. The tech chuckled and then began taking the measurements. He checked my chart multiple times before saying "You weren't kidding!" Not exactly the most reassuring thing that he could've said, but he continued with his measurements. He asked me if I was sure that I was only 31 weeks along. I said "um...yeah..." He then informed me that he was measuring 4-5 weeks ahead of schedule. There is only one possible date that could've been the magic moment, and according to that date, I was only 31 weeks. An average fetus at that age weighs approx. 3.5 lbs. My Johnny is over 5lbs according to the measurements they took.

My sister couldn't stop giggling. I couldn't stop my anxiety from rising. I thought to myself "He's coming on Christmas....He's gonna be a December baby...I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CRIB FOR HIM YET!!!" The tech asked me when my next check up was and I told him that very afternoon. He encouraged me to ask about bumping up the due date. I didn't like this. I'm not ready yet! I had 8 more weeks, not just 4!

That afternoon I went to the checkup and asked the Dr. about the surprising size of my baby boy. He explained that it doesn't necessarily mean he's coming early. I started to breath easier. He explained that the size of the fetus doesn't have anything to do with the age. His internal organs and development of those organs are still only 31 weeks old. "So I can still expect him late January?" He said most certainly. Then it sunk in. If he's 5 lbs now, there's a very real possibility of having a 10 lbs child if he waits till late January. All of a sudden, my relief was gone.

Seeing my face, and knowing that I'm a first time momma, prompted the Dr. to ask, "Well, how big were you when you were born?" I told him I didn't want to talk about it. Then mumbled out 9lbs 7.5 oz. He chuckled and said simply "This is grandma's revenge!" Doesn't make me feel better, doc, but thanks! All in all I can't complain. His heart is strong and bigger is better than too small, so I'll count my blessings. All 5 lbs.

I didn't let my HUGE bundle keep me from Black Friday Shopping either. I was able to score the only deal in the sales papers for babies: a travel system! So Johnny has a stroller and infant car seat ready to go! Still no crib, but we're working on it. Hubby thinks its awesome that our son is so "advanced." That's the nice way to put it, I guess!

However, expectant fathers, I do have words of caution for you. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR PREGNANT PARTNER TO AFRICAN WOMEN! My husband watched a documentary on child birth in different cultures, and he likes to bring up the fact that some cultures in Africa, a woman would work to harvest the crops all the way up to labor. When it was time to give birth, they would go to the side of the field, dig a birthing ditch (a shallow hole) and have the baby in the squatting position. After passing the child around to the rest of the working women, to welcome him into the world, the mother would then strap the child to her back, or chest, and continue harvesting the crop. Great. Awesome. Love that I am a big Americanized wimp of a girl and plan to take off 6 weeks minimum from work in order to recuperate and bond with my little one. He keeps urging me to rethink pain meds as well. I started to say "well we'll see how intense labor is, natural childbirth isn't uncommon." Then I found out I had a potential bowling ball in my future. We'll see how fast I call for an epidural.

But honestly? I am not an African woman. Please don't compare me to them, because yeah, I know you're joking, but it also makes a joke out of my inadequacy. I would love to have the kid, and keep on trucking, but thanks to modern medicine and first world country conditions, I have been spoiled. And thankfully so.

OH! and giving a time limit on labor? That's also a big no no, gentlemen. 45 minutes is not a reasonable time to labor through your first child. Love your partner, encourage, reassure, tell her how beautiful she is. Bite your tongue if you have to. Because you never know when a mood swing might hit and turn your usually cool and roll with the punches partner into a sobbing mess when all you were doing was making a stupid joke that she would've found chuckle worthy had there not been a belly buddy inside making her crazy.

I love my husband, I do. I also usually enjoy his sense of humor. I cannot wait until I can chuckle at his silly, stupid jokes again.

Until Then,

Big Momma

Hope you like orange soda....

Ok, tons have happened this month!

Exciting things?

--I no longer look like a teen mom because I got my braces off! yay!

--Baby's heart is doing great, 160 bpm last checkup.

--St Louis Cardinals won the World Series! (Miraculously!)

Not so exciting...

--I no longer can squeeze into pre pregnancy pants. Boo.

--My weight is on a steady increase.

--The glucose test tastes grody...

The last appt. included my glucose tolerance test, which was probably why my son's heart was racing! I had to down 50ml of that orange sugar stuff. It tastes like Tang, if the recipe for Tang was 2 cups of powder, one cup of water. It wasn't gritty, or syrupy. It had the consistency of water, but tasted like it should be pure sludge. Even if you typically can't chug something, you'll be able to get through the 50 ml. This is of course just the preliminary test, if this one comes back abnormal, I'll have to do the 100 ml and stay there for three hours, instead of just one...

But if you're worried about getting the glucose down, it really is just un-carbonated orange soda.

I hope to find out the results some time this week, and my next appt. is a week from Wednesday.

I have been enjoying my sons twists and turns a little more! He does a happy dance when I eat bananas, and he kicks when I eat tacos, probably due to the spicy kick to the food. He loved watching the Cardinals, or maybe just reacting to momma's yelling at the screen. Whatever his message, he always lets momma know he's there, by bump bump bumping around. We haven't had to negotiate rib space yet, so every time he moves, it's just a reminder that I'm not alone-- and then I think about my husband and how much I love him. It's pleasant and not uncomfortable yet, so we'll see what the coming months bring.

Week 28 is the threshold we just crossed, so I've officially rounded third...trimester that is. I'm sleeping a lot more, which was to be expected. This weekend, that's pretty much all I've done! I'll enjoy it while I can and hopefully not feel too guilty for it. It's hard when you see your sink start piling up with dishes, and all you wanna do is go down for another nap!

I've even started getting some strangers interested in my bump! I don't know really how I feel about that, but being asked "How far along are you?!" makes it proof positive that I look pregnant and not just fat like I was worried about since I started out plump. However, telling a pregnant woman she looks like she's about to pop? Unless you know that she's in her last weeks, please keep that comment to yourself. Because for a woman who's looking at another three months? Not exactly comforting! And yes, I'm sure that there's just one. From what my sister tells me, though, one of her skinny friends (like size 4-6 skinny.....skinny minny skinny.) got asked if she was having twins all the time. Yeah. She didn't like that much either.:)

I just hope that Johnny is healthy, and that I'm doing everything I can to help that happen. I'll know more once I get my glucose test results back...

Until Then,

Big Momma

Happy October from my son!

Jonathan Cash Deason! Johnny Cash for short. We've already begun our shopping spree and so has my parents. Blue all around! He was 1.1 lbs at the ultrasound and heart beat was 154. The coolest thing was that he was looking back at us. Makes for a creepy ultrasound picture, but I think it's appropriate for Halloween!

At my monthly check up, they measured the height of my uterus (they call it fundus, but that sounds weird and gross....) I was 23 weeks and measured exactly 23 cm. It's like magic! And I was glad that I've only gained 2 lbs within this last month, despite becoming rounder... His heart beat was 144bpm. A little slower, but still strong they said.

I asked about getting a flu shot, since I'm a teacher and around all kinds of weird germs. I've never taken one before, but I don't want to put Johnny in jeopardy by catching the flu. I'm only concerned with how I will react to the shot since I've never taken one before. Dr. gave me the go ahead since I'm not allergic to eggs (which apparently is a common denominator of bad reactions to the vaccine) But now that it's the weekend and I actually have time to go get one, I'm sniffly. I don't think it's the flu, but I definitely don't want to compound any allergies with the shot.

But this is one of the times that I'm thankful I'm a plus size preggo. I called the Dr.'s office to ask about whether the medicine I had available was ok for me to take. They signed off on it and said it would be fine, of course after they called the Dr. for his professional opinion. However the only pill I've taken since I've found out Johnny was growing has been prenatals. Even though I had the go ahead, I still worry about taking meds. This morning I had an epiphany. Since I do have extra weight on me, the active ingredients have more tissue and body to get through before it gets to baby. I know it probably doesn't work like that, and if you're a medical professional and reading this, you're probably laughing at that thought process, but let it lie. I want to live in ignorance for now. Besides, my Dr. did say it was ok.....

Special Note:

Any preggos, plus or petite, always always always ask your Dr.s for their opinion on taking medicine during your 9 months of glowing. That's why I didn't say which meds I got ok-ed, because I don't want anyone to assume it's ok for them. Your Dr. knows your specific case and has their own professional opinion. Your insurance (and you) pay them the big bucks to answer these questions, so let them!

In any case, I hope the sniffles go away soon.

Until then,

Big Momma

Johnny Mango!?

Ok, so I know the tests that they sell in grocery and drug stores claiming to tell you the sex of your baby are a farce at best. So what I'm about to admit is an embarrassing and shameful confession. I paid $36 dollars for one, just so hubby and I could have some idea.

I poured over the instructions, reading every word, making sure that I followed them to the letter. They even say on the instructions "Don't go on a shopping spree or paint the nursery yet! You should wait for confirmation from the professionals!" Basically what they're saying is that they are often wrong. I was bracing myself and my husband in case it read 'girl' by reading that same paragraph over and over again. So when the test read boy, the only thing in my head was "but these tests are often wrong" on infinite replay. No relief whatsoever. No joy, no release of tension. It was supposed to be fun. That's what they say anyway. My husband and I were so nervous that it would say girl, we had convinced ourselves that it was going to be wrong. I guess we'll just have to wait til the 13th, which is when the "professionals will confirm!"

BUT-- One thing I do know for sure: What to Expect says that Johnny or Kat is a large Mango this week and weighs in at a solid half lb! What's a momma to do except go to the supermarket and scope out the potentially baby shaped fruit? Yes I found one that was a half lb, and held it in my hand before buying it for hubby. (I don't fancy mangoes)

Which brings up something from the past. We picked the name Jonathan because we liked it better than John, but we will call the kid Johnny because you can add anything to Johnny and it sounds totally awesome. When I found out he (or she) existed, they were an apple seed size. So I nicknamed it Johnny Appleseed. But this week, Johnny Mango. And be honest--It sounds totally awesome doesn't it?

Oh, Sept. 13, come quicker!!

Until Then,

Big Momma

Sweet Potato sized butterfly...

Felt it move for the first time today. First day of school. My baby is going to be a nerd:)

I could not stop giggling.

So much joy from just a little flutter! So awesome...

Can't wait to feel it again.

Until Then,

Big Momma

Sweet potatoes and Belly bands

Ok. Frustration is the name of the game. Plus size preggos: you know what I'm talking about! Being a plus sized woman made me choose baggier clothes even before I was pregnant. I mistakenly thought that maternity clothes in my usual size would be even baggier...WRONG!

My regular pants have started to get a bit snug, and since I'm used to baggy, something had to give. I'm not ashamed to admit that my size before was an XL in most things, non-numbered size pants included. I discovered that the maternity pants were not numbered (smart!) and since I live in Texas, I decided to use the Tax Free Weekend to purchase some maternity pants. Loading my arms with about 15 items, I trudged to the fitting room. Oh, fitting room, how I hate you! I have a hard time believing that the XL maternity pants would fit a normal XL sized woman. This is not nice! Our bodies are changing and we're having to deal with skin changes, weird center of gravity, and possibly even nausea, and you're going to make us feel worse by making the clothes misleading?

School starts tomorrow, but I've been at inservice all this past week with other teacher friends. I'm starting to realize what limitations this sweet potato in my belly is making me adhere to. I'm having to learn how to move again. It's like overnight, I switched bodies. Getting up on a chair to put things on bulletin boards=challenge. Stepping over the bench at the cafeteria tables=challenge. Standing up=challenge. Lower back pain, and lower abdominal pain has me concerned, but according to What to Expect When You're Expecting this is normal. They say to consider it "growing pains" of pregnancy. I have my monthly check up on Wednesday, so I will definitely be asking questions.

Until then,

Big Momma

When life gives you lemon:)

You eat a lot of lemons! Cravings have been crazy, mostly for sour salty vinegary things. And yes. lemons. Lots and lots of lemons! I also got to enjoy some malt vinegar with a side of fish and chips in San Diego. AMAZING.

What else is amazing? I went for my sonogram followup yesterday and got to hear the heart beat again. Couldn't stop my smile. My fave sound in the world. Truly magical because everything seems to fade, your priorities are thrown out the window, all nerves and doubts cast out of your brain, and it's just whompwhompwhompwhomp. 154 bpm. A drop from the 161 at the sonogram two weeks ago, but that's to be expected as the pregnancy goes on. All the pre-screens came back normal. The Dr. actually used the phrase "healthy pregnancy" in relation to mine. It's the first time it's been said to me and I'm on cloud ten. Nine is for suckers!

He/She is a lemon right now, hence the title of the post. And according to all the old wives tales, based upon the heart rate and the cravings, all signs point to girl. My husband and I wanted a boy first, to make sure the girls that may or may not come later have some big brother insurance, so we're on pins and needles! All the websites also say not to commit to a color palate based upon these predictions and I've found some posts from other mothers who found them to be completely wrong. As long as I get a healthy kid, I'll be ecstatic. I just keep calling lemon 'he' and if 'he' is a 'she,' I'll feel bad for imposing a masculine pronoun on my little girl. But perhaps I'm only preparing her for a sexist world outside the womb. Wow. That was really feminist of me.

Whatever it is, we will know September 13th. Three days before Hubby's 31st bday. He says if it's not a boy, it needs to stay in until it's done. I'm glad we're finding out before the delivery. We know that we are blessed either way, and placing our order for a specific blessing is just a little too pretentious, but it's inevitable! If we do have a daughter, this blog might have more to do with the emotional journey of acceptance rather than the fact that I'm a plus-sized preggo.

Until Then,

Big Momma

I'm just peachy!

It's been a couple of weeks! I've been so busy updating friends and fam on facebook, I've neglected the blog.

We had our ultrasound and he (generic he, we can't tell just yet) has a nasal bone! And an adorable face with daddy's nose and my lips. Ok, I'm just guessing with the facial features, but the nasal bone is important because that means that Johnny or Kathleen will more than likely not have down syndrome. This is pretty cool that they can tell this so early, and Daddy is just upset that there aren't two. "Well then we wouldn't have have to share! We could each have one!" Whereas this is adorable, I for one am glad that my uterus will only have one bundle to accommodate.

Heartbeat was 161, and I teared up. She only played it for about three seconds and I was hooked. He (or she...) kept flipping from one side to the other, making daddy think we're going to have a ninja! Such an amazing experience.

Now, I am in California with my hubby and two of his friends. We are going to enjoy the many splendors of Comic Con, and I'll let you know how that goes...

Until then,

Big Momma

The lime is out of the bag!

For most of our family now. We drove up to MO to tell his family in person, and they were pleased as punch. It was a turning point for my hubby I think, because ever since, he's been over the moon! With most of his family knowing, if not all, I wanted to tell a few more of my family. Grandparents, etc. It's very exciting and everyone is congratulatory.

However, I still feel weird saying it. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant! I have been saying a lot of toilet bowl prayers lately. I've been uber sensitive and weepy and weird times, thank you mood swings. But just because I have the symptoms, doesn't mean I can easily accept that there's a little lime in there somewhere! I have my first sonogram scheduled the day after my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!) so maybe that'll quell some of my fears.

Yes. Fears. Plural:

1. There is nothing there....

2. There is more than one (twins run on both sides...yay!)...

3. What's there is abnormal...

4. It's too small...

5. It's too big...

You name it, I've probably had a strange inexplicable dream about it in a way only my subconscious could contrive. There will be a picture of whatever comes out on the sonogram posted shortly after the appointment. I CAN'T WAIT! I'm so excited.

Until Then,
Big Momma

I love Olive him!

Baby is the size of an olive, but since I don't like olives, I'm saying a medium sized grape.:)

The trip with my students went ok, though competition was a lot more competitive than we had thought! Driving was fine, and I was able to get away with being so busy that my morning sickness had no place in my life during those three days. Oh I would get waves of nausea in the shower. Shampoo my hair, lean against the wall. Rinse my hair, lean against the wall. But no actual sickness.

Being back home, I've been able to enjoy sleepy days. Summer has officially started!

Today I got to add another food to baby's dislikes:
Twizzlers.

I had a craving for them, and hubby was very sweet and got a LOT of them. Too bad I didn't have self control! The worst Morning Sickness experience yet. And it reminded me of a story my mom told me about her pregnancy. Her fave. chip has always been Frito's, but when she was pregnant with my sister (she's 3 years older than I am) she got sick right after eating them. I was able to call her and tell her that I've found my Frito's.

One thing that seems to settle my stomach and I've been able to keep down with little to no trouble, Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito, no onions. There's something about the refried beans and cheese combo that is just....soothing. BUT I have to be careful. This is the chronicles of a plus sized pregnancy.

So far I've been able to not gain weight, and I've even lost a few lbs. I have my next appointment tomorrow before we travel to Missouri to tell my in-laws. And unfortunately, it's with the same OBGYN that I was uncomfortable with before. My husband asked that I give him another try since he thought I was being hard on him. I just hope this appointment goes better.

Until Then,
Big Momma

Oh baby, do I have some morning sickness!

Full swing. That's what my morning sickness is in right now. Ways to get around it?

1. Breathing- I always made fun of my mom when she took deep cleansing breaths on roller coasters...Yeah. I don't even have to be mobile and I'm imitating her these days!
2. Giving into cravings- and man are they weird! This isn't good considering I'm supposed to be watching my weight. And though it makes my gag reflux calm down, those chile limon potato chips make my heartburn star spangled later on.
3. Water water and more water-That's right! Drinking water somehow suppresses the need to get rid of stuff in my stomach. I guess if stuff is busy going down, it's not so inclined to go up. However, my bladder has made sleeping a bit more difficult.
4. Heat- Believe it or not, I'm glad that this first trimester falls in the South Texas summer. The heat from outside, most of the time, shocks my body into thinking "man it's hot!" rather than "man I don't feel good!" When does this not work? Right after drinking or eating a lot of dairy so that I can get the calcium I need.
5. Sleep- My favorite!! Of course I could be out walking around the apt complex, swimming in the complex pool, exercising lightly, but the couch is too comfy. And if I exercise, my nausea might get the best of me! Again not good for helping my weight watch.

Those help me. Maybe they'll help other big mommas out there!

On another note, I bought my first baby thing. I was out couponing with my sister, and she had told me that she had already started buying little things here and there, and setting them aside. I thought "hey, that's a good idea!" I had a coupon for baby lotion, wash, and other baby bath type concoctions. Apple Honey baby wash (no tears of course) will be in my closet until baby needs it! My hubby wasn't even mad.

Speaking of Hubby. Last night I was having trouble getting comfortable to go to sleep. I accidentally kicked him whilst tossing and turning. I apologized and he said "If you have to kick me to get comfortable, you go right ahead." I hope I didn't take advantage of that statement! I think we'll both be excited when first trimester is over.

Until Then,
Big Momma

Baby Blueberry!

Little One should be the size of a blueberry by now! And all that hoping that I would be one of the lucky 25% of women to not have morning sickness is gone. Morning sickness has set in and comes in waves at all hours. The only sanctuary is sleep, so I've been doing a lot of that lately. Especially in the past 48 hours since SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!

Eating pretty regularly, though fitting in 6 meals now, with all this nausea, has posed quite a problem. Only 5 more weeks to go till I'm out of this first trimester, and believe me; It can't go fast enough. My parents want to tell people, I want to tell people. Husband's family is still in the dark, but only because I want to tell them in person and they live out of state. I'm actually excited to go and see them.

Taking my vitamins, as instructed, and everything seems to be honky dory except for this blasted nausea. It's not even the kind that when you do something about it (i.e. upchuck) you feel better. It's still there even though you have nothing left to give. Husband keeps reminding me that this is what I wanted, blah blah blah. Men are so annoying sometimes! But I love him and he finally put his worrying aside for a second to tell me that he is excited about our kid. If there's any males reading this, please let your girl know that you love her and that no matter how scared you are, that you're still excited too! It was wonderful to hear.

I am wishing these next few weeks fly by, because I am not too fond of Trimester 1.

Until Then,
Big Momma

Will school ever let out!?

For those of you who haven't looked at my profile, it should be known that I am an educator at a Middle School in San Antonio, TX. And it is dragging on and on and on!

There are 3 more days that they require of me to wrap up this year, and two of those are with kids. It's mainly just celebrations and movies that very loosely tie into our curriculum which we really use as a babysitting tool. Because at this point in the year, we are just a free daycare.

The good points about this? I will have all summer to get over my first trimester. I haven't had morning sickness yet ::knock on wood:: and I really don't fancy the idea of getting sick in front of my students. I'd rather they think that teachers aren't really humans, but human like robots of learning. This is also why I hate running into students at the grocery store. What? Teachers buying food and toiletries? Weird.

There is a catch. I am taking a small group of students to a National Competition right after school, so I'm not exactly home free. I'm nervous about traveling, especially without my husband. Luckily, one of my colleagues will be there most of the way and I have shared the news with her. Once that adventure is done with, I will really be able to relax and enjoy the rest of my summer!

Until then,
Big Momma

The family is in the know!

On Saturday, we had a family barbecue and since everyone was together, My husband an I decided to spill the peas. Literally! I bought yellow jewelry boxes from a craft store, and then since baby is sweet pea sized, filled each one with a pea. I was certain that someone would pick up on it.

First, I sat my mom and dad down and claimed that this was an early Father's Day present for my dad. However, they had to open the boxes simultaneously. They did, and Dad said, "It's a green dot..." Mom however said, "::gasp:: You're pregnant." Not a question. Affirmative statement, You're Pregnant. They knew that I wanted to try soon, but they were pleased as punch that it had happened now.

Mom got up and hugged me and I started crying explaining that I'm not telling everybody just yet because of the high risk nature from the weight. She said she understood, but that obese women, even morbidly obese women have healthy pregnancies all the time. I know this, but caution is still the name of the game. She told me it's ok to be excited, and this is what I needed. The excitement. The permission to be excited. I feel a lot better since I've shared with them and now can call my mom with my apprehensions instead of freaking out my hubby with them!

My sister found out later. and her reaction was slower. She was very confused, and I told her and my bother in law that this is how big your niece or nephew is right now. "Really?! Ah! I had a coupon that I could've used for you!" She was flustered, but excited and the coupon thing is really our newest obsession that we share. (Extreme Couponing-stockpiling)

That night she texted me, telling me she bought me a magazine. Fit Pregnancy June/July 2011. In this magazine there is an article about the "New Weight-Gain Rules" In this article, high-risk OB/GYN, Yvonne Thornton M.D., tells of her personal experience with a plus size pregnancy, but by following a diet that was recommended for gestational diabetes patients, she was able to keep her weight stable throughout her pregnancy and have a healthy 8lbs baby girl. This is what I want!

Now I know that gaining weight, especially in the second trimester, may be inevitable, but I plan to stay within the 15 lbs that the Dr. suggested I stayed under. And just by changing my eating habits since the visit, I've been able to shed 4 lbs. I'm eating 6 times a day, recommended by What to Expect While You're Expecting, and I'm eating highly nutritional items instead of empty calories. I've stayed away from white processed flour products, a sort of modified South Beach, and I've been enjoying fruits and veggies instead of candy and snacks. I'm not holding myself back when I'm hungry, and I'm taking prenatals which was also suggested by the Dr. All in all, I feel much better about the prospect of having a healthy pregnancy.

It also feels a lot better mentally that my family knows. I'm still guarded and will tell the rest of the family and friends on my birthday, since that will be the end of my first trimester and the risk of miscarriage will be reduced to one percent. Keep your fingers crossed!

Until Then,
Big Momma

Congratulations to me!....I think?

Found out on Friday that I am pregnant! Yay me! Except for one thing: I am overweight. So much so, that on the BMI chart, I clock in at "Morbidly Obese."

My weight has always been an issue for me, ever since I can remember. In 5th grade I remember hating how I looked because of the extra weight that I seemed to have that the other girls seemed to lack. On a trip to the San Antonio Zoo, there was a playground that had a wooden bridge that connected two sections of castle. There was a weight limit posted on it. I remember thinking, "If I am on this bridge, no one can be on it with me, because I am the weight limit."

Last month when I went for a pre-conception check up to see that everything is working and in the right place, my Dr. told me I needed to lose about 20 lbs. I was anticipating this. I had already lost about 15 lbs before I went to the appt, thanks to South Beach. I planned to go forward with this diet to lose the rest, but to be honest I have a love hate relationship with food. I wasn't as strict as I needed to be and I gained 7lbs back, very quickly. This wasn't the plan, but alas I was unfocused and not as diligent as I should have been.

I read somewhere that it takes a woman, of normal size, between the ages of 20-35 about 6 months of trying before she concieves. My husband and I thought that since I am of more than normal size, it may take longer since excess weight leads to infertility. Well, looks like we had beginners luck! This made me happier than I've ever been in my entire life. You see, along with dealing with weight issues and food addiction, I've also always had a dream of becoming a mother. It truly is why I believe I was placed on this earth. (Do you feel the 'but' coming?)

BUT- I have since been deflated. Nervous about the delicacy of the first few months and worried about the complications the weight would add, I scheduled my first prenatal appt. Yes, I'm only 5-6 weeks. Yes I know this is somewhat, if not incredibly early. But I scheduled it nonetheless. I expected some congratulations. Some jubilation. Some recognition that it happened super fast. Some recognition that it happened!

The office was super busy, overworked, understaffed. I felt like just a bag of blood and one more thing on their to-do list. While talking with the Dr. (finally) he seemed to be troubled by the situation and spent the duration of the discussion wagging his finger at me. He said being this heavy increases the chance of miscarriage. I knew this, however when he said it, it bounced around every corner of my brain, filling me with a sense of doom. He asked if I had any questions, and when I pulled out my list, he sighed. I'm sorry, but as an overweight, first time mother, shouldn't I have some questions? He sped through the answers as if I was bothering him. I walked out of the office feeling like a crappy mom and that a miscarriage was inevitable.

Needless to say, I'm searching for a new OB/GYN.

Now, I'm not wanting a second opinion. What he said was fact, and I know that being heavy complicates things needlessly. I will take every suggestion to heart, because I love my little appleseed and would do anything for it. However, I want someone who is there to answer my questions and listen to the questions I'm not asking. I want someone to encourage me instead of scold me. I'm not saying he is a bad Dr. I'm just saying I'd be more comfortable with someone more attentive.

After a night of sobbing and being scared to move, I've scoured the internet for anything out there for a plus sized preggo. While I did get consoled by what was out there, I wanted to put my voice out there for others who may feel the same or are going through the same thing. If this blog does find it's way into one of your lives, please comment, as I would welcome any comradery or solidarity.

Until then,
Big Momma.